The Heats - Remember Me

[1980]

Still bringing you all the misses that you missed and all the memories you never had.

Here's one from forgotten Seattle power pop legends The Heats. Remember Me was surprisingly not released as a single. It appears on their one and only LP Have An Idea which is on the edgier side of new wave power pop. Irresistible pace-y hook laden tunes drenched in harmonies are the order of the day for this album which is the connoisseurs choice for greatest lost power pop record. 

The Smithereens - Behind the Wall of Sleep

[1986]

Bass players named Kim for a thousand. Kim Gordon, Kim Deal and this Kim from some forgotten 80s Boston band, she had hair like Jean Shrimpton and a stance just like Bill Wyman.

Nifty lyrics, crafty tune and a pretty legendary 80s alternative sound. Power pop had spent five years in the wilderness when it was brought back by The Smithereens in a new incarnation that was much darker and heavier. The dude who co-produced REM's first two LPs, Don Dixon, twiddled the knobs to great affect here.

Some albums you taped off your friends and I can picture a TDK D-90 with Especially For You on one side and 1988's Green Thoughts on the other. 

Shoes - Boys Don't Lie

[1977]

More golden non hits and memories. The opening tune to the debut Shoes record Black Vinyl Shoes and it's another crackin' tune.

I hate it when all a critic can say about a band is who they influenced. However when you hear this tune it's hard not to go "oh surely Jesus & Mary Chain, My Bloody Valentine and The Pale Saints were into this" but I don't recall any of these bands back then ever citing Shoes as an influence in interviews during the late 80s otherwise me or my mates would have had some shoes records in our collections. Shoes got on my radar a few years later though, in the mid 90s via the Rev-ola reissue of Black Vinyl Shoes. It's fitting then that Rev-ola was a Creation Records sub label.  

Do You Wanna Get Lucky? · Shoes

Do You Wanna Get Lucky? · Shoes [1977]

Before indie, paisley underground, noise-pop and shoegaze you had the low key buzz of the thin fuzz of Shoes. Their lo-fi power pop with occasional neo-psych overtones was distinctly not particularly new wave-y here. They were doin their own thing. The impeccable diy four track recording of the Black Vinyl Shoes LP was released on Shoes own record label Black Vinyl Records before Bomp signed them the following year for the Tomorrow Night single (see previous post). Do You Wanna Get Lucky?'s got mellifluent melodic charms, ace chugging riff-age, the spectre of Phil Spector and that little surreal guitar break of tripped out noise is something else.   

8675309 Jenny Jenny · Tommy Tutone

[1982]

Wait, actual hits and memories! 

Crank this melon farmer up and you'll be chanting Jenny's phone number at the top of your lung in no time. 

Here's another one I haven't heard since I was ten. Only made it to number twenty two on the charts here. 8675309's got Canadian hit written all over it though and guess what? Surprise surprise it was a number two smash in Canadia that went on to become the the twentieth biggest selling single of 1982! Only kept off top spot by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder's fucking awful Ebony & Ivory. 

If I ran a golden oldies radio station this is the type of thing I'd be programming. Tunes that were in the lower regions of the charts for one or two weeks as well as good tunes that just didn't quite make it instead of the same thirty songs they've been playing on repeat for forty years on Australia's airwaves.

The Someloves - The Singles 1986-1990

The Someloves - Sunshines Glove (1990)

Bringing you all the non hits and memories. These Someloves singles got nowhere near the Australian top 40, I mean these guys were incredibly successful at being unsuccessful. Here's four of the greatest pop non-hits you never heard.

My Favourite LP in 1987 was At First Sight, Violets are Blue by The Stems. By the time Dom Mariani left The Stems and came out with these tunes in 1990 from a reactivated Someloves his time, in my eyes, was up. We'd been into The Pixies, JAMC, My Bloody Valentine, Dinosaur Jr, SY as well as the whole indie-dance thing for a year or two by then and these jangly melodic retro throwbacks seemed a bit fusty. I thought Sunshine's Glove was a bit of dad rock that had escaped from the Kingswood's car radio in 1981. I mean it kinda was but that was no bad thing. You can't deny a good tune and it seems that's all Dom and his partner in crime Darryl Mather had: Crafty, affecting and infectious pop tunes. Timeless.

The Someloves - Know You Now (1988)

As far as second half of the 80s power pop goes this is up there with The Smithereens' Behind The Wall Of Sleep and Crash by The Primitives. Know You Now is possibly Dom and Darryl's crowning achievement. An undeniable sherbet bomb of pop tune. 

The Someloves - Melt (1990)

Their third single rocks a bit harder. I mean that could be Joey Santiago doin that nifty lead. 

The Some Loves - Don't Talk About Us (1986)

It's crazy to think Dom Mariani was in two great bands at the same time ie. The Stems and The Some Loves (later renamed The Someloves). He also had great songwriting partnerships in both groups. I guess The Stems were a bit more Garage-y while The Some Loves were more on the power pop tip. It's all gloriously timeless guitar driven pop music. 

Anyway guitarist, co-songwriter and producer of The Someloves Darryl Mather had been a founding member of Lime Spiders and he met Dom in the 80s while The Stems were still going. They recorded their debut single It's My Time for the legendary Citadel label in 1986 of which Don't Talk About Us was the B-side. 

Shoes - Tomorrow Night

Shoes - Tomorrow Night [1978]

More great non-hits and memories. Here's another slice of lo-fi power pop, this time with more of a garage/freakbeat influence. Shoes achieved a pretty incredible sound on this single considering it was a do it yourself in the basement job. The mellifluous vocals and crunchy driving guitars are perfect for each other like other stuff that's perfect for each other. 

Unsurprisingly when Shoes later signed to Electra Tomorrow Night was re-recorded, in a plush studio with a producer, for release during power pop's premier year of 1979 but it still failed to crack the top 40... Shoes are undoubtably the most legendary coulda-been group of the era. I mean these tunes just belong on the radio... 

Other Boys Do · The Toms

The Toms - Other Boys Do (1979)

Fuck yes! Bringing you all the olden days jams and non hits and memories. 

1979's the golden year for new wave power pop and the new wave of power pop innit. Other Boys Do is from the lo-fi cult classic album The Toms. Tom Marolda was the Ariel Pink of his era: He sang, played all the instruments and recorded the entire thing on his own in his New Jersey home, coming up with the most charming record of 1979 in the process. 

20/20 - Out Of My Head

20/20 - Nuclear Boy [1981]

Back again with 20/20 and this their second LP. They up the new wave ante here for a blistering guitar driven pop classic. Ace guitar, large harmonies and even larger bass and drums all delivered with great gusto. We're all nuclear boys living in a nuclear world. 

20/20 - Out Of My Head [1981]

Now for the other absolute banger from 20/20's Look Out record. It's got that bass line from The Supremes that's also been recycled by the likes of Iggy Pop, The Jam and er... Jet. This is the best usage though innit. Try not to dance around your lounge room to this one. These guys are right on the money with their youthful exuberance, enthusiastic harmonies and smokin' rhythm section. Hard to believe this wasn't a worldwide smash hit. 

1981 Baby!   

Phil Seymour - Precious To Me

Phil Seymour - Precious To Me [1981]

A song with a memory hidden in the deep recesses of my mind. 

I am sure I haven't heard this since 1981 when I was 9. When heard yesterday my mind went "Fuck yes I love this" Then I thought this must have been a hit here in Australia and yes indeed it was a number 6 smash that went gold. I even enjoyed the key change which had me thinking that it was probably Stock, Aitken and Waterman's overuse of this songwriting trick that made me averse to such things, actually this might be the greatest most affective key change in a pop song ever... anyway Phil Seymour played drums and bass in the Dwight Twilley Band and also contributed a guest appearance on the debut album by 20/20 featured in the previous post.

Precious To Me's got layers and layers of nostalgia, history, tradition and meaning. I think this is the greatest 80s rediscovery I've made this year. I just can't believe how fucking infectious this tune is. You can have your Badfingers and Big Stars, Phil Seymour's the real deal baby!

Yellow Pills · 20/20

[1979]

Yellow Pills is at that perfect intersection of power pop and new wave. Chucking an unruly and abrasive synth into a slice of pure melodic guitar pop  is a genius manoeuvre.  

20/20 - Sheri [1979]

Also it's hard to deny this hook laden anthem. Melodic. Energetic. Electric.

 

20/20 - Tell Me Why (Can't Understand You) [1979]

This one's more on the mid tempo tip. So Beatle-esque it reaches ELO-like proportions. The infectious stuttered "T-T-T-T-Tell Me Why" chorus is peak new wave gloriousness. Concluding with lengthy psych interlude that includes spacey bass, backwards guitars, synth, spooky backmasked vocals and an epic fade out.

It's Friday night, Rewind Baby!

Jungle Rot · George Brigman

Jungle Rot - George Brigman [1975]

I think I bought the Jungle Rot cd reissue cd in the 00s mainly because of this photo accompanying the review which caught my eye in a magazine. It pictured three young burnout dudes hanging out in an abandoned house in nowheresville USA during the mid 70s. 

If someone told you this opening title track was a Chrome demo from 1977 you'd believe them, with its fantastic acid fried fuzz guitars and snarling vocals. 

Most of the rest of the LP doesn't really follow this style. There's a couple of tunes in a similar vein but the rest is more low key, comprising throwback 60s garage, some blues and stoner psych noodling with hints of of Velvets circa 3rd LP, The Stooges, Blue Cheer, probably The Groundhogs... anyway, an eclectic curio it definitely is.

It's Misery - George Brigman [1975]

It's the creepy stoner fuzz jamz that this teenage three piece from Baltimore excel in though.

Modern Eon - Fiction Tales

[1981]

One of the great post-154 albums. If you like your post-punk nice and gloomy yet sometimes uplifting, the incredibly dreamy Fiction Tales LP is for you. Along with Alex Johnson's inventive idiosyncratic vocal style & melodies we get serious post-punk drummage, classic goth bass lines and an array stellar dreamlike guitar textures. Chuck in weird atmospheric sound fx, a bit of piano, synth waves and some sax on a coupla tracks and that's your lot. While similar smaller bands of the era, Chameleons, The Sound, Sad Lovers & Giants etc. now have huge cult followings this Liverpudlian group still seem to get overlooked surprisingly.   

Laura Branigan - Self Control

80s, 80s, 80s! 

More tunes about adult concerns with darkly glamorous themes. 

"I'm living in the forest of a dream"

When being sexy was all about hair in your eyes and wearing an off the shoulder oversized jumper sans pants.

Shonky dancing alert! The daggy Branigan shenanigans begin at the 1.48 minute mark.

I totally forgot this song existed, I don't reckon I've heard it since 1984. . . This tune is way better than I recall. The state of the art 80s pop production is fucking sensational. It's synth-y, it's funky, it's disco, it's rock... it's 1984 baby.

*Things I didn't know in 1984: 

Self Control had Harold Faltermeyer on the synth. 

The video was directed by William Friedkin. 

Laura Branigan had no Italian heritage whatsoever which is surprising... we probably all assumed she was half Italian as she did a whole bunch of covers of Italian pop songs including this one.  

Don Henley - The Boys Of Summer

Still love this... probably still the best song of the 80s since I bought the 7" in 1985. 

Your Love · The Outfield

[1986]

Your Love is like the Monopoly man's monocle. Did it even exist in the 80s? I don't recall this band at all. Not on any music video shows or in music magazines or in the record shops during the 80s. This song was not a hit here in Australia or any soundtracks that I I know. The Mrs who grew up in Wales was a Smash Hits reader, TOTP viewer and all round pop music fan also does not recall the song. Yet when I heard it the other day I sang along like I'd known it all my life. So I'm guessing it's just been played on radio since the 80s. Maybe it's just so generic that I could just predict the lyrics and where the melody would go. Who knows? 

Anyway this is a great little power pop tune that was a big hit in America and Europe. Interestingly Your Love became a gold record in the UK despite the fact it only ever made it to number 83 on the British charts. It's all rather mysterious. It's a non existent monocle of a song. 

"You can put these songs on while you're driving or play them at a high school dance. They makes you feel good." Said the Outfield dudes who were surprisingly from the East End in London and not heartland America. The only English band from the 80s that were so uncool they looked like they were either from Canadia or Australia. When wearing a singlet with a matching mullet in your film clip was heroic.

They outdid The Cars, Foreigner, Mr Mister and Bryan Adams at their own game and created THE anthem of the era. I'm pretty sure the world agrees with over a billion plays of Your Love on spotify and 800 million views on youtube of the music video. 

Sniff 'n' The Tears - Driver's Seat

[1978]

One of the coolest songs ever.

The appeal of this tune is pretty mysterious. I mean when this song comes on the radio you go "Fuck yeah!" but just what is it? What even is the genre? Who cares I suppose... it's a vibe... it's one of a kind... it's all about restraint and what it ain't which makes the keyboard and guitar flourishes so much more, that constant nerve-y beat, the blip of the synth and these hidden little hooks all permeating the tune, insidiously add to the pop magic of Sniff 'n' The Tears' Drivers Seat.

Rewind!  

Young Turks · Rod Stewart

[1981]

Check out this supreme synthetic synth-y production. Production duties by none-other than Rodney himself. Not only that but Mark Knopfler is on guitar here! People talk about great tunes like Boys Of Summer but maybe this is the true national anthem of hypnagogic pop. 

 

When being a teenage mum with a pierced eared boyfriend who drove a pickup like a lunatic was heroic. Live the dream kids!

"They held each other tight as they drove on through the night they were so excited. 

We got just one shot of life, let's take it while we're still not afraid. 

Because life is so brief and time is a thief when you're undecided. 

And like a fistful of sand, it can slip right through your hands."

Osé - Computer Funk

(1983)

Strange electro jam written by James McCauley of Maggotron (in)fame from the previous post. How is this not an out and out stone cold cult classic of electro? This sort of bassline is maybe pretty unusual, is it? The same style perhaps not really being used again until the 90s with Drexciya as well as some hip-hop and drum and bass tunes, am I wrong? Wait for the 5.49 moment when it goes intergalactic then dissipates. 

Hey all you pac mans it's party time!

Maggotron - Computer Pop

Maggotron - Computer Pop (1984)

Here we go with the electro jamz once again... a whole lotta funky fun including on trend vocoder vocals and scratching. It's the Future and you're in it!

More On Movies... The Return Part VI

House On Straw Hill aka Trauma aka Exposé (1976)

Mostly notable for being on the video nasty list and for featuring Linda Hayden, the controversial star of Baby Love (1969) and Blood On Satan's Claw (1971). Rural horror with much onanism, deranged sex, violence, sexual violence, bad acting and a terrible script. Along with the splendid rural depiction of 70s Britain the other saving grace here is the top hauntological score from Steve Gray, this guy apparently played piano on soundtracks by John Barry, Lalo Schifrin, Henry Mancini, Jerry Goldsmith amongst many others.  

Cherry Falls (2000)

A 90s teen slasher with Twin Peaks vibes directed by the dude who did Romper Stomper. This gets insane and insanely hilarious by the end. Much maligned at the time but for post-Scream irony teen slashers it isn't that bad. Perhaps it was a bit of a hack gimmick to make the victims virgins instead of the usual punishment of promiscuity but that was a red herring anyway. The main star is the troubled now dead Brittany Murphy and she appears to be off her face on drugs in every scene and this definitely wasn't part of her character's mo. A lot going on here, this movie is a bit of a mess, like three unfinished films in one. A real curio of the era. Future cult movie if it isn't already one.

Live & Let Die (1973)

It's hard not to like Roger Moore as this incredibly fun Jim Bond in 1973. This one's all about the magnet watch unzipping the dress of the incredibly cute Solitaire (Jane Seymour), the insane virtuosic speed boat/car chase and the brilliant alligators as stepping stones sequence. There are elements of blaxsploitation and hick-sploitation amongst the usual Bond action, super villains and of course underground bunkers. Peak 20th century pop culture. 

The Black Windmill (1974)

A Don Siegel movie that maybe not everybody's seen. It's definitely not top tier Siegel, this ain't no Dirty Harry or Charley Varrick. Worth a watch if you're a Michael Caine or Donald Pleasance fanatic though. MI6 agent Major Tarrant's (Michael Caine) son is kidnapped and held for ransom. Will he get his boy back alive or die trying?  The best thing here is the cinematography of 70s Britain and Roy Budd's excellent brooding score. Be warned Michael Caine ditches his cool 60s black rims for a pair of what would become known as classic serial killer glasses. I'm a fan of both spectacle designs so it doesn't bother me but some may be triggered by this fashion choice.

The Ipcress File (1965)

Now we're talking... a proper cold war spy thriller depicting a rather drab and incompetent British bureaucratic intelligence agency. This is dingy-London and these spies are not really all that swinging. The recalcitrant cockney Harry Palmer (Michael Caine) might be just what this ineffectual department needs to solve the case of the missing scientist Dr Radcliffe. More importantly can the form guide checking Palmer's skills at plunging a coffee and cracking an egg help snare him the foxy bird (Sue Loyd) at the office? 

 

The Mummy (1959)

The tomb of Egyptian Princess Ananka is opened by some British archeologists. Soon those involved end up murdered by Kharis, a very muddy mummy, the revived boyfriend of the princess. He's a wee bit upset that her tomb was desecrated. Indestructible monsters are compelling viewing even if they're kinda ludicrous and Christopher Lee brings a particular gravitas to the role in his brief portrayal here. Surprisingly atmospheric and melancholy. 

Get Carter (1971)  

Jack Carter (Michael Caine) infiltrates the seedy gangster underbelly of early 70s Newcastle to get revenge for his brother's death. He chucks Alf from Coronation Street off a high rise building. Grime-y, gritty and grim. 

The Steel Trap (1952)

A boring bloke who works in a bank decides the mundane life is no longer for him. He plans to take a million bucks from the bank vault and head to Brazil. Excellent nail biting stuff.

The Loophole (1981)

An unemployed American architect in England finds himself unwittingly applying for the job of masterminding a bank vault robbery. They end up using the storm water drain as the access point to the bank. What could go wrong? Good lil' heist movie starring Martin Sheen, Albert Finney, Johnathon Pryce, Susannah York...

Curse Of Frankenstein (1957)

Baron Frankenstein goes to deadly lengths to assemble a monstrous creation from an array of body parts. Curse Of Frankenstein was the beginning of a new gothic strain of British cinema, Hammer Horror, now for the first time in glorious Eastman colour starring the immaculate Peter Cushing and the imposing Christopher Lee. All the sickly science and murderous mayhem is supremely entertaining stuff. Historic.

The Revenge Of Frankenstein (1958)

Spoiler alert Baron Frankenstein didn't actually meet his demise by guillotine at the end of the previous year's movie. Here he reinvents himself as Dr Stein so that he can once again play the mad scientist and create another monster. Uh oh... things start going awry again. Can Stein get away with with his depraved ethics and monstrous human experiments or will the authorities finally catch up with him. Peter Cushing personifies Stein with aplomb. I think if you're an aspiring thespian the go to role model would still be Peter Cushing. He's just impeccable in everything he does, his mannerisms, inflections, restraint etc. He's the best. 

Crazy Horses · The Osmonds

[1972]

Insanely heavy Page/Iommi damaged guitars, obnoxious synth hook, drivin' rhythm and ace r&b horn arrangement. I always assumed The Osmonds were probably like a white Jackson 5 who played pale saccharine bubble gum slop for pre-teenyboppers but Crazy Horses is an undeniable (head)banger for anybody of any age! 

The Breakup Song · The Greg Kihn Band

[1981]

Indeed they don't write 'em like that anymore. 

Even though there's a jolly defiance about this song there's also an underlying melancholy aspect which just grows and grows the further in time we go. 

The further in time we go the more the song by the live band and the song on the juke box in The Breakup Song become this actual song. 

It's the song we used to know. 

It's the song they don't write anymore.

Joe Jackson - It's Different For Girls

[1979]

More sounds from the adult radio world from before I was a teenager.

I never knew what Joe was ever specifically on about in his songs. I still don't. All I knew was he was searchin' for something and possibly not always coming up with right answers. It felt like there was something taboo about his disconcerting perceptions, maybe even more so today in the post-liberal era.

Maybe I'm giving him too much credit perhaps he's just a self serious po-faced c*** who probably deserved a punch in the face. I mean...

David Essex - Gonna Make You a Star

[1974]

I always thought David Essex did like three singles then died in some kind of tragic motorcycle accident. But he's got over twenty five albums and was in Eastenders a few years back. 

The funny thing is he released eleven singles before releasing his first single Rock On in 1973 when I wasn't even two years old yet. So Gonna Make You A Star was his fourth proper single and some say shoulda been his last. Gonna Make You A Star is unusually produced glam almost yacht rock with synth breaks straight out of a BBC sports theme. Very strange, very emotional and very affective. Jolly good then.

Cliff Richard - Carrie

[1980]

Speaking of Cliff on Kenny Everett. Here he is doin' an old wave into new wave sophisticated sub Steely Dan jam. 80s Saxophone break included. Possibly Cliffford's finest moment. The sound of the radio back then all seemed so adult... it also seemed like there were a lot of songs about where people lived, who lived next door and who had moved away...

Cliff Richard - the girl can't help it

[1970]

Surprisingly convincing slow burning raunchy r&b from our wholesome Clifford. Brilliant funky arrangement from Mike Leander oozing sophisticated sleaze. 

*Sure my dad had old school 1950s Cliff singles but he will always be the really normal for a pop star guy with the cheese-y American teeth from The Kenny Everette Show for me.  

Slade - Coz I Luv You

[1971]

Has there ever been a more threatening love song? Coz I Luv You is a controlled detonation of a tune where Slade really pile on the tension with that persistent menacing throb, the unsettling mayhem of those electronic handclaps, insane violin and underlying stompiness as Noddy gets whipped into a maelstrom all in the name of love or perhaps lust.

MORRICONE - Copkiller (l'assassino dei poliziotti)

[1983]

Morricone rarely rocks out in a jock-rock manner. He might have some twangin' guitars on the spaghetti western soundtracks or have some wah-wah and fuzz infected psychedelic freak-outs on his giallo scores but here the finale is almost a conventional anthemic hard rock lead break. Anyway it's not just about the rockin' last 30 seconds, this track, which I assume is some kind of edited suite, has got all sorts of disparate elements going on - the atmospheric tension of the strings and horns, the haunting harpsichord, an array of swirling sinister bass, ominous drums, disorientating jazz noir lulls and that aforementioned bombastic rock out. A symphonic crime funk masterpiece. 

 

The entire original 1983 vinyl edition of this top ranking Morricone soundtrack. Funnily enough the rock guitar version of Cop Killer is not on here. It's only on the reissue cd from 2002. Some Morricone soundtracks are hard to sit through from go to woah as they are often repetitious variations on a theme. This record however works well as a home listening LP.

John Barry – The Ipcress File

[1965]

The coolest theme tune to a movie ever. Double retro of the mid 60s then this vibe was revived in the mid 90s with all the great trip-hop, lounge and downtempo gear. I have a vague recollection of a trip-hop act sampling this maybe, am I right?

That's not a guitar or a harpsichord no this one's all about the sound of that mysterious cimbalom, a Hungarian hammered dulcimer, giving this sparse spy jazz a sophisticated Euro touch. The moody vibes, creepy flutes and lonesome distant ghost of a trumpet combined with the menacing mellow melody of the cimbalom perfectly evoke a shadowy cold war atmosphere.  

DJ Crazee M - The Message

DJ Crazee M - The Message (1993)

Hardcore going into the darkside but not becoming overtly jungle-y. Bangin atmospheric techno more than anything. Fucking relentless and goes hard with the parapsychological sonics into the transmutating darkness. Totally plugged in to an inescapable visceral force. 

Jaime Mendoza-Nava - The Brotherhood of Satan

[1971]

Fitting creepy end title theme from the regional 70s horror cult movie set in the isolated small desert town of Hillsboro, where deadly accidents are rife, children are disappearing and the elderly residents just might be a coven of satanists. Fits right along side of similarly themed cult flicks of the same era Lets Scare Jessica To Death and Messiah Of Evil but not quite as legendary. 

Oh wait... just discovered the ever reliable Fish Man on youtube has put together a nine minute suite of music from the film... pretty eerie and pretty freaky... 

Jaime Mendoza-Nava seems to be another one of these composers who are so under appreciated they're barely recognised at all yet he is a serious composer with an extensive body of work from the sacred to the profane working with The Bolivian National Orchestra and Madrid Symphony Orchestra to scoring soundtracks for Westerns, B-Movies and even Disney cartoons.

SPORTS TV Themes

BRITISH EDITION

La Soiree - David Ordini

When I was little and used to play pretend soccer in the dining room this was the theme that we would belt out "baba ba baba baba ba baba" while pretending to be either Kenny Dalgliesh or Archibald, the only two British players we knew in 1979 or 80. So i finally figured out it was the theme tune to ITV's The Big Match which must have screened here in the 70s and 80s when it was just the first division English Football League... you know not corporate globalist social justice bull twang that it has become just like our very own Australian rules football league is now.

Grandstand Theme - Keith Mansfield

We got British soccer and snooker shows but we didn't get things like Grandstand as we had our own sports roundup shows so we missed out on this classic theme. It might actually be genius. Sprightly xylophones, triumphant brass, boings, brisk bongos, a searing lead break and a victorious fist pumping finale. A relentlessly upbeat anthem. Winners need only apply. We are all winning. The feel good anthem of our lives. 

The Doug Wood Band - Drag Racer (1976)

Here's a crackin theme tune. This was for BBC Snooker back in the 70s and 80s. I mean they needed a high octane and totally smokin funky blues fuelled jam because it was the snooker right. Many believe this to be the all time great sports tv theme tunes. 

Chase Side Shoot Up - Brian Bennett (1974)

Here's another spectacular theme that the BBC used back in the day. This was the theme for BBC Golf. Brian Bennett, a doyen in the fields of rock, tv themes and library music, is of course best known for being in The Shadows and his legendary theme for Channel 9's Cricket broadcasts. He always delivers. How does he inject so much positivity into a tune? Chase Side Shoot Up is a drivin' funky synth jam of the anthemic variety with forays into daydreamy moods, no wonder everybody loved it and hated it when the retards at the BBC changed it in the 00s after 25 years.  Peak Bennett!

These tunes aren't just kitschy nostalgic fun, no these sports telly themes are some of the greatest music made in the 70s.  

The Doug Wood Band - Cranes 

Some anthemic proggy synth funk goodness for the bbc darts show. It's all done and dusted in under a minute. Incredible stuff. Also darts is fucking great telly entertainment. Actually this is a bit like a horror synth prog jam in the vein of Goblin, Tangerine Dream or John Carpenter. Strange but then again darts is not a particularly normal sport if indeed it's a sport at all. I mean isn't it just a game for pissed people with the added danger of these drunk people handling a potentially dangerous weapon. 

The Big Fight Live Theme

A rip-snorter jock-rock disco anthem for some kind of Friday night boxing show on ITV. This is so plugged into the vibe of being pumped on a Friday night, being pumped for some boxing, being pumped for any old action and being pumped because you're alive living in the moment, it's perfect.  

Randall And Hopkirk (Deceased) - Edwin Astley

[1969]

The brilliant theme tune by Edwin Astley. So 60s, so soundtracky, so damp, so English, so good with its moody harpsichord, deluxe sinister horn and string arrangement and downtempo beats. 

Unlike his contemporaries like John Barry, Edwin Astley (Virginia's dad) was quite under-documented for a top notch 50s & 60s British tv composer until 2008 when Network started issuing a series of soundtrack cd compilations. Still a lot of his film work has never seen light of day.

The original British opening credits to this unique occult detective fiction series ie. a show about the antics of a private eye and his ghost-y partner and his lovely widow. Hopkirk being a ghost gives the show a similar madcap quality to shows like I Dream Of Jeanie and Bewitched. The supernatural element lends itself to delicious comic situations.

The American opening credits. 

Here's My Late Lamented Friend And Partner the first episode of Randall And Hopkirk (Deceased) from September 1969. It's a good fun show with great cars, vintage interiors, classic furniture and choice locations. I love the bit where they obviously had no budget to be smashing up cool expensive cars so they just parked an un-dinted car up to a pole and opened the bonnet to depict it had crashed. Can you imagine getting empty London streets to film in these days. The time capsule of a London that's never coming back... 

Imprint recently reissued a box set of the entire series on blu-ray. 

More On Movies... the return part V

The House That Vanished (1973)

British giallo directed by Jose Larraz. It's all about the stunning Andrea Allan's hair and well she gets her tits out too. Dilapidated mansions, black gloves, shine-y knives, masks, murder, boobs, sleazy photography, dark rooms, gloomy weather, fog, scrap car yards, shonky dudes, foxy ladies, incest, rape, birds, pet monkeys, the 70s, 70s furniture, 70s cars, 70s fashion, 70s England, 70s hair, 70s busters... 

Hell Or High Water (2016)

Good lil' low-key crime drama in the contemporary noir-western style Good. Written by Taylor Sheridan of Yellowstone fame. 

Somewhere In The Night (1946)

Paranoid amnesia noir. If Joe Mankiewicz had removed half an hour of fat from his flick it would be an all time top 10 of Film Noir instead of the underrated flabby coulda-been a masterpiece that it is. The captivating Nancy Guild shines here yet she was only in a handful of movies. 

Call Northside 777 (1948)  

Tedious ripped from the headlines crime noir... just who fucking cares? Shut up James Stewart!

1984 (1984)

The drab omnipresence of the globalist unaparty is here. When are the thought police catching you? That is the question in 2024. Your nightmare was foretold many years earlier... it's all so obvious now that you're a boring hack for pointing this out.

California Split (1974)

Peak Bob Altman. Peak Elliot Gould. Peak George Segal. Peak 70s. Peak America... even the seedy underbelly was better back then. Peak film-making. 

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

The omnipresent Bond fans are so insufferable it's hard to care one iota about their beloved slice of pop culture but this is a bit of fun if you're in the right mood. Most notable for Barbara Bach's charms and the awesome submarine car. Roger Moore is best Bond, the only Bond really.

Carry On Abroad (1972)

The Carry On movies had been repeated on Aussie telly ad nauseam since I was born then to my surprise Morrissey did an article, in the pages of NME during the 80s, on his love for these movies. I've never had the appetite to investigate wether his point of view was valid or not until until now. 

I could not believe how much I enjoyed Carry On Abroad. Much to my amazement there were some hilarious jokes amongst the lame ones. The ensemble cast and their acting chops is what is really impressive here. Obviously Kenneth Williams is obviously the star, I mean it's obvious but actually they're all stars. 

Carry On Screaming (1966)

This one's all about the foxy Fenella Fielding, she was a goth icon 10 years before Siouxsie. Also stars handsome Harry Corbett as Fielding's love interest. Kenneth Williams as the mad scientist is outstanding. This is a Hammer horror parody with some pretty weird bits, I mean kidnapping young pretty ladies and turning them into mannequins to sell to department stores isn't your usual movie plot line. Probably the best atypical Carry On movie.

 

Carry On Henry (1971)

Sid James as Henry VIII who wont shag his new missus Marie Of Normandy (Joan Sims) because she's got bad breath, let the ribald shenanigans begin. Kenneth Williams plays Thomas Cromwell. It's historic.

Carry On Loving (1970)

A dating agency is run by Sid, Hattie and a room sized computer. Let the romantic misadventures begin. 

Carry On Doctor (1967)

I found this one just tedious... quite unbearable really. I mean Talbot Rothwell wrote 20 scripts in 10 years or something so.... Still the mismatched romance scenes with Kenneth Williams as Dr Tinkle and Hattie Jaques as Matron are brilliant and iconic!

Carry On Camping (1969)

The Carry On movies were way more about sexual repression than anything else although spoiler alert Sid gets his end away at the end of Camping but with his actual girlfriend Joan Sims and not Babs who he'd been ogling for the second half the movie. Also features a scene with a rather delightful disdain for hippies at the end with Kenneth & Hattie spraying a field of hippies with disinfectant - punk! 

The Faculty (1998)

Surprising monster movie from the 90s. I missed this Invasion Of The Body Snatchers meets The Breakfast Club meets The Thing mash-up at the time. Usher is in it. The Faculty though is most notable for possibly the worst haircut on a lead actor in film history on this dude named Josh Hartnett, absolutely shocking, a crime against humanity.

The First Omen (2024)

Spectacularly put together sound and vision experience like a good music video but a pretty daft, incoherent and surprisingly un-horrifying story. Abortion subtext: Nobody cares.

Conan The Barbarian (1982)

Managed to avoid seeing this my whole life until now despite it always popping up in books on cult movies. I guess I always thought this kinda shit was for dorks... there are some funny moments like when Conan chucks a devil woman into the fire and when he punches a camel but is that enough though...